ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
