They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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