So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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