Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
