I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
