She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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