Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
