Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
