shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
