I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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