He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
