Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
