its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
