3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I fill condoms, not promises.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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