wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
