i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
