How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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