I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
