I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
