what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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