Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
