why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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