This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
