He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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