Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do herpes really smell.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
