1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
