Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
