In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
