She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
