you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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