He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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