Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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