it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
