Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
