Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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