my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
