I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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