epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
