what day is it and did you see me today?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am available for nakedness
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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