Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
