I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
