I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
