My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
