How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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