She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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