I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
