I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
