No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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