If i come over, it means nothing
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we're making bets on your personal life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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