You can't special order awesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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